a pic of my soul but way more buff
Problem is, I like "guy humor", meaning that I find a good razzing pretty ha-larious. I see guys just walk up to eachother with an endearing "hey dickhead" and receive a totally normal "yo, douchebag!" in return. But nooo, when I play around with anyone there are no pet names like the aforementioned, shouted to me. I just get the triple awkward combo served up on a platter:
Take today for example, I'm walking from the back of the office towards the front and I pass the office of my co-worker...we'll call him, Jonathan. After I've just passed the doorway I hear Jonathan yell, "HEY ARE YOU GOING TO THAT EVENT ON ELM AT NOON?"
Not quite sure if he was talking to me, I turned around and walked back. And being the total jokester that I am, I said
"Am I, hey?"
Well I didn't say I was funny, I just said I was a jokester.
So anyway, my co-worker responds with "huh?" and a puzzled look. I replied "Well you said 'hey' and I wasn't sure you were speaking to me. If you use my name next time, I'll know I'm supposed to answer." *big smile*
Ok, disclaimer: this sounds really bitchy via written text but I said it totally tongue-in-cheek and really playfully.
So Jonathan replies "oh my god dude, you're sooo direct sometimes, are you Russian?"
Ok..I'm sorry, now I'm confused. I don't look Russian by any means. And last time I checked, I wasn't wearing a tall furry snow hat, sporting 'Stalin' as my surname, or turbo guzzling a pint of vodka.
Come to find out, there is a stereotypical saying about Russian women that goes like this:
"there are no Russian women, only Russian men without penises"
but also "lol" because that's kind of funny.
Jeeze, way to make a gal feel like a real ball-busting buzz kill.
Here I am thinking he knows I'm joking, but To Jonathan, I am a true soviet incarnate. In addition to me not being funny, it dawned on me that I also need to work on managing perception. This point was again proven two hours later when I walked into a meeting where the topic of small talk, was hamburgers. As soon as I walked in and sat down, the client turned to me and said,
"we're talking burgers here, but I'm sure you're a vegan, right?"
What? Whoa. Where did this come from?
I don't understand how you can look at someone and just assume that they are a vegan. Is it because I didn't have any remnants of a 16 oz. charcoal grilled, rib-eye stuck in between my teeth? What does a girl have to look like to protect her carnivorous identity? I love a ginormous burger...don't threaten me with a good time.
Just trying to be consistent with the shirt theme
I give up today. I am clearly, the non-master of perception. *sigh* Just call me Svetlana, Russian vegan.