Friday, November 16, 2012

Just when you think you're not batshit crazy...

Life has a funny way of proving to you how normal you're not the exact minute you dare to believe that you're pretty well adjusted.  Of course, I don't mean 'funny' as in humorous because I'm not laughing.  It's funny in the same way that hitting the inappropriately named bone in your elbow is funny.    

Lingering tingling feeling anyone?

To get a bit memoir-esque, I made it to to my late 20's without experiencing what I consider to be any real emotional hardship in life.  psssh...I was always happy, why did people have to try so hard?  Thinking the finish-line-of-life was just crossed unscathed, I felt invincible..  

Sooo that lasted for about two days and then Life, being the bastard that he is, was all like "I'll show Summer who's boss" and laughed kinda villain-like (muaaahahaha). 

Then began 2012...the year in which life and I fought eachother vehemently

(a la Floyd Mayweather & Oscar de la Hoya in a rope-lined ring in Vegas).

Yes, we're only in the 5th round but despite my bloody lip, I can assure you I will win. Inevitable victory or not, it hasn't been fun dealing with the bouts of uncontrollable emotions. 

I was genuinely concerned yesterday when I noticed that just 10 minutes after a complete low, a surge of joy and energy overcame me.  Think depressed Ben Stein finds stimulant narcotic- smokes said narcotic- and runs rampantly around in a euphoric state.

And I do feel very female all of a sudden.  I never understood what people meant when they described my gender as 'batshit crazy', so I sought out enlightenment.

Confused and unsure of how to self-diagnose Batshit Crazy Disorder, I consulted Google.  I just laid it all out there and typed in "why women are batshit crazy".

According to the articles discovered after clicking a couple of links, I am NOT (yay!) batshit.  Initially I was startled by the disturbing headline:


But as it turns out, temporary emotional volatility isn't crazy.  But a willingness to fore-go sex in order to be skinny, is.

"Fitness magazine is yet again asking the hard questions: Would you skip sex for a year if that meant you would be skinny? Or...would you prefer to "have great sex and be 30 pounds overweight"? A little more than half of their survey group of 2,400 ladies said they'd skip the sex. 

Could it be possible that these women who would rather be skinny than have sex don't have sex in the first place because they're too busy eating baby food and going to the gym all the time? Or are Fitness magazine readers just off their rockers?"

a real-life batshit gal, courtesy of Fitness mag 

I can't argue with Fitness magazine, although I don't think we agree on what exactly it is within the aforementioned article, that is infact, batshit nuts.  I love cheeseburgers so I don't think it's completely far-fetched to believe that there are a good amount of women who prefer to have one instead of sex.  However, female gym rats surviving on baby food?  What the hell has the world come to?

I can sleep well tonight as I've never been more confident in my sanity.