Tuesday, August 2, 2011

And Eat Your G'Damn Veggies Too!

I absolutely LOVE this book titled "go the f**k to sleep" by Adam Mansbach. It's meant to be a parents-only book, and it pokes fun at our hidden frustrations. It's absolutely crazy that some people are outraged by it; but I'm convinced that those are the moms who after years of pent up anger, send their kids off to college and end up in a trench coat and/or post office with a gun. It can't end well.

Here's the video of the book narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. Oh, but obviously make sure your kids are a-fu*!king-sleep before playing this. Go ahead...I'll wait.

I'm thinking of writing the sequel myself. Possibly titled "And Eat Your G'damn Veggies Too." Here's what I've got so far:

It's dinner time here in our castle. Serving our princess a home-cooked meal. After hours of slaving, you're really complaining? Just eat it my love. For real.

We're gathered in love 'round the table. Dished up some chicken and peas. Who cares if your food is touching each other? Doesn't taste any different...please?

The bonding is flowing and natural. The family time's just such a blessing. I've separated it all and scraped off the sauce, now what the hell is wrong with the dressing?

Looking around at our beautiful table. So thankful to have everyone here. We said TWO BIG bites of the healthy stuff. Forget it. Can you grab me a beer?

Onto dessert for the night now. Your sundae is topped with a cherry. Mom's drunk, dad's asleep and you had nothing healthy. Typical night for us though? Very.

Now obviously, I am joking. I would never cook.